We're Gods? Aw Crap
by fakesgirl22000
Summary: The Titans have returned and Piper's kids have been turned into Gods...
1. Titans? Gods? NO WAY

_My Gift to you, I got a little bored watching Oh my goddess..._

_Just remember I don't own anything_

_Toodles._

"Paige what do you mean the Titans are back? We vanquished them, remember?" Piper asked.

Paige pulled off her robes and sighed, "I know Piper."

There was a sudden thud in the lounge followed by an "Aw Crap!"

They run in to find a statue of a girl and three very adult and very sore Halliwell children surrounding her.

"WYATT MATTHEW, MELINDA JANE AND CHRISTOPHER PEREGRINE HALLIWELL! WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU THREE DO TO YOUR COUSIN?" Piper yelled.

"Mum." Chris held his hands up to placate his mother, "Mum it's not as bad as it looks." He looked over at his Aunt who was still in shock at seeing her daughter as a statue, "She's okay. Well, she's obviously not _okay_ but she's not dead so that's a good sign right?"

"Chris, maybe you should just stop talking." Wyatt nudged his younger brother, "you know I think Penny turning into a statue is really playing on Aunt P's mind right now."

Paige stood up, "The Elders want to make the kids gods, it's the only way to stop them."

Piper shook her head, "No. No way in hell."

Melinda looked at her Aunt, "Really?"

"Cool!" Wyatt laughed.

"No it's not _cool_ Wyatt." Chris snapped, "Do you have any idea how dangerous it is? How close _they_ came to losing control of their powers?"

"Chris."

"No Wyatt. It's too dangerous."

"It's too late for arguments Chris. They decided to choose the three witches who individually are stronger then the power of three put together." She pointed to Wyatt, "The twice-blessed," she pointed to Melinda, "The reincarnation of Melinda Warren," pointed to Chris, "And the Thrice blessed."

"But I'm not." Chris protested, "The whole thrice blessed prophecy is a load of crap."

A blue light swept over the three siblings and their appearances changed drastically, Wyatt's hair grew longer, dressed in a white toga with a blue robe and holding a trident, Melinda's hair snaked down her back; her white dress sweeping down to the floor. Chris' toga was all white and his hair grew down to his shoulders.

He glared at his Aunt who was stifling her laughter, "This is not funny!"

He turned to where Penny was encased in stone, holding his hand out a bolt of electricity shot from his finger and the stone cracked, "Where's the Titan?" Penny turned around and stared at her cousins.

"What in the hell?"

"Not a word Pen." Wyatt warned.

Pen started to laugh and Chris rose his hands and she was incased in a mud column.

"Well I guess we know who's got the whole God of the Earth thing." Paige grinned wryly at her older sister.


	2. Why dont we just shove em in?

This is just a pissy little chapter to pass the time. Read and review okay people? I really like my ego boosts!

Chapter Two

"Christopher Halliwell set your cousin free right now!" Paige shouted.

Chris rolled his eyes, "She'll find her way out soon enough Aunt Paige."

"I like war."

Chris turned around to see Wyatt pointing the trident at him, "Wyatt put that down!"

"Guess what I like?" Wyatt said, pointing the trident at the wall.

"Let me guess, war?"

"Yup. I like war, war is good. It's fun."

Chris rolled his eyes and took the trident from his brother, "Save the war talk for the Titans; okay now go find Mellie."

Wyatt walked out of the room and Chris opened the cabinet and hid the trident inside.

Melinda was sitting on the couch staring at her twin brother, "Wyatt all you need is love."

"No its war Mel." He argued.

"Love."

"War."

"Oh stop it you two!" Chris shouted, "Control yourselves and your urges to go and start wars and participate in orgies! The Titans are coming and we need to figure out how to stop them!"

"Why don't we just do what Mum and the Aunts did last time, you open a big hole and we just…_shove 'em in?"_

"They may be old Wyatt but I don't think they're completely stupid."


	3. Gods to make, Titans to kill

The sibling's argument was disrupted by someone clearing their throat, Chris turned to see a very pissed off Penny Halliwell (Paige changed her last name to Halliwell Matthews. So Penny goes by Halliwell…coz she can) staring at him.

"You put me in a pile of mud." She growled.

"Pen…"

"Don't you Pen me Christopher!" She picked up a mud clod and threw it at him, hitting him in the arm.

"You always were a crap-" he paused, heart racing his knees buckled underneath him.

Pen darted to his side, "Chris what's wrong?"

"My head…" he muttered, "Sensory overload. Give me a hand up?"

Seventeen-year-old Penny helped her twenty-year-old cousin off the floor, the two cousins left the room unnoticed by Chris' siblings and sat in the kitchen.

Chris sighed heavily as he slid into the seat, "Thanks Pen."

Penny nodded slightly, "You thirsty?"

He rubbed his eyes, "Nah, thanks anyway."

Penny poured herself a drink and was vaguely aware of her cousin's emerald eyes studying her, turning to him she snapped, "You could just ask you know."

"Okay," he paused, "Aside from me chucking you in a mud column what's wrong?"

Penny sat opposite her cousin, "You've got no idea what it's like, I'm the odd one out… you and the twins are so strong…I'm just the inferior Halliwell, second rate." Her eyes snapped up when she heard her cousin chuckle, "What the hell is so funny?"

"Please." Chris smiled wryly, "You are so not second rate or inferior. You're just as strong as the rest of us."

"Yeah right, so how come the Elders made you three gods and I'm just plain old boring Penny?"

"Well 'plain old boring Penny', I'll let you in on a secret," he leant forward, "The Elders are a bunch of fuckwits."

Penny laughed, "If mum and aunt Piper hear you saying that…"

"They'll agree with me." Chris smirked, "Now for the other secret, take your necklace off. "

"Why?"

Chris held his hand out and orbed the necklace from her neck, leaving it out a bit longer both Wyatt and Melinda's pendants orbed into his hand. Taking his own necklace off he placed them all on the table.

"You don't understand it do you?"

"Understand what?"

Chris positioned his, Wyatt and Melinda's pendants together then placed Penny's in the interlocking pieces creating a triquetra, with a smile he looked up through his dark hair, "We're Charmed, and you Penelope Rose Halliwell Matthews Montana, are the one who holds us all together."

Piper and Paige were standing in the doorway watching their children, "He's good, isn't he?" Piper smiled.

Paige grinned, "I don't think Penny has to worry about her inferiority complex anymore."

Chris grinned at Penny, his green eyes twinkling with unspoken mischief, "Ya know, I've got an idea."

"Oh no."

"The Elders only gave me a power boost…if you want…I can make it so you share this power."

Penny's grey-green eyes bulged, "No…I couldn't."

"Pen, we could really use your help. I could use your help, I mean I'm not like my mum, if Wyatt and Mel go off the rails I can't control them by myself. I mean hell, they gave Wyatt the powers of the god of war."

"You're worried it'll turn him, aren't you?"

Chris nodded, "Yeah…I don't wanna lose him again Penny. I just can't do it."

Penny wrapped her arms around Chris as he broke into full-blown sobs, "You won't lose him, we'll kill the titans and change everyone back."

Chris pulled away, "You've always been good at giving advice."

Pen grinned, "Well I learned from the best."

"Aunt Phoebe?"

"Oh hell no." she laughed, "You."

Piper and Paige were looking at each other, "They know? Piper how do they know?"

"Chris died and was born the same day…maybe his memories were transferred?"

A look of understanding came over the sisters' faces, "His nightmares."

"I'm his mother, why didn't he tell me?"

Two sets of green eyes turned to face Piper and Paige, "Because I didn't want to worry you mum." Chris said with a smile.

"How long have you two known we were here?"

Chris and Penny smirked, "Since you got there."

Chris smiled at the two Charmed ones, "Penny and I have to run. Gods to make, Titans to kill, you know the score."

Piper smiled as Chris and Penny disappeared in a strong gust of wind, "How did our kids get so grown up?"

"Who knows sis." Paige said.


End file.
